What is the purpose of using 'I messages' in de-escalation?

• A. To connect with them
• B. To blame others
• C. To threaten
• D. To coerce

Answer: (A)

Using I messages centers on expressing your own feelings and the impact of someone's behavior without blaming them. This helps you communicate your experience without attacking, which lowers defensiveness and makes it more likely the other person will listen and engage. For example: "I feel anxious when the room gets loud because I have trouble focusing," instead of blaming language like "You always shout and ruin everything." This approach connects you to the other person and invites collaboration, a key part of de-escalation. Blaming, threatening, or coercing tends to raise defenses and pressure the other person, which escalates the situation rather than calming it.